The Unspoken Numbers

I didn't know where it came from,
just out of the blue,
a simple night with friends,
out eating,
causing chaos as we do,
turns into a matchmaking,
I don't know how their brains work,
I question their sanity,
mocking it really,
any chance I get,
now is no different,
I know they are just helping out,
and really,
who they pointing out,
is a nice one,
a smirk on dial 7,
bouncing off the walls,
sweet voice with matching steel dark eyes,
I be a fool to pass it up,
even if given the chance,
the odds of being a slob while eating,
that person is nice,
helpful mostly because it's their job,
and a napkin just happens to have a number on it,
I repress an eye-roll,
but it doesn't go amiss by them,
morons,
what part of being uninterested,
fails to enter your damn minds,
even if they bring up good points,
on this one would be giving me the time of day,
what happen those months back,
were so cliché,
my insides shivered because that's not really me,
I was helping out,
that person was having a bad day,
and being a decent person,
doesn't equal getting to jump their bones,
again these people I hang with are morons,
still though,
I got the number,
and the safest thing to do,
is just rip it up,
a distance rejection,
is better than up close and personal,
yeah I know,
it's the coward way out,
but can't blame me for thinking this,
that this person could do better,
ignoring what close friends say,
if nothing feels like a click try,
I'm going to string those along,
thinking that maybe,
there could be something more,
it was a mistake once,
and I have no reason to repeat it again,
if this person sees me rip the number,
they bring it up as we getting to leave,
I spare a glance,
I am hoping for tears,
if they do,
it would only hurt more even I said yes,
I just can't bring myself to be happy,
not with another person,
I wish others got that,
instead of bring up one or another,
if I am dating anyone,
or at least someone keeping the bed warm,
again,
they are morons,
but they are my friends,
they mean well in not seeing me end up alone,
I hear with full understanding,
of what they are trying to do,
I get it,
but I can't bring myself to do,
if someone is going to date another,
it has to be from both sides pulling the weight,
of making this,
in lack of a better term,
fantasy a realty,
there are tears and if so,
it's not of ill fated time used,
besides that,
I look again,
about to fully leave,
at first glance a little upset,
but look they'll get over it,
another night of loveless,
my friends' words not mine,
again,
I pay little mind,
I do linger,
guilt already setting in,
when that person,
of the spoken number comes by,
the chatting is common as the weather,
I slip in words,
I know most would take the wrong way,
depending on what they look from,
as I say I wasn't looking for anyone,
they could do better,
don't something this great on someone . . .
who did one or two nice things for you,
because even after that,
you don't really know that person,
and I am just saying the trouble,
of seeing that dead end,
that person of the unspoken number,
seems fine at the normal hangout,
jump in step,
freely speaks as we known each other for years,
how some things work out,
strangers just being friends,
and only that,
being completely content,
a common web I seem to weave in my life,
I don't see anything wrong with it,
they're happy,
and in ways,
so am I,
even though I couldn't speak for all the unspoken numbers,
those of that deep past,
I hope for them best,
even if I don't what could happen,
I hope they are happy,
and that's just enough for me,
dating is overrated,
and that's how I'll always see it,
may that could change,
it's just not now,
but until then,
just living life whatever throws at me,
content and a whole new kind of adventure,
no doubt some unspoken numbers will come again,
things will repeat,
but again,
if nothing else,
I'll put the unspoken numbers first,
call me a helpless romantic,
that wants nothing to do with romance,
and just wants happiness,
in the more subtler ways.